to: max
from: your girlfriend
♡ happy valentine’s day, baby! ♡
♡
it’s currently february 3rd, 1:13 am. i’m thankful you’re asleep, i hope i am able to wake you up early. but for now, i will be discussing about you. perhaps you‘ll laugh at my choice of words, or roll your eyes every time i say something stupid, but regardless, i hope this reassures you enough that i love you with all my heart. something i would never feel for a person.
~
you know i love you right?
regardless of overwhelming emotions, loud sighs, everything else in between, i love you more than you will ever know.
some days, i believe i have given up on myself. i sit here wondering, why? why have i continued on, when all i ever create is destruction? all i ever do is place harm upon others without intending to. i'm left wondering if i'm better off not here.
the complexity of my mind overwhelms me and yet you sit here, waiting for the storm to pass. you've seen so much insight of how terrible things can be and yet you're here. here loving me, here being committed to all of this. i hope that never changes.
~
i appreciate you more than you will ever know.
i admire your everything.
at first, i convinced myself that you were just an idiotic crush that wouldn't linger for too long. i grew up becoming bored of those i liked, as i found myself switching to a different perspective. you, on the other hand, kidnapped me! i had no escape, regardless of how much i tried. i always found myself rolling my eyes, even though i would look at you in awe. you lit up my entire world unintentionally, all by just your presence. you made me smile on days i wish i was dead. and it will always be like that.
i don't ever want to lose you, max. i will never forgive myself. it sounds selfish but i want you all to myself. you are mine and i am yours! got it?
♡
♡
i know this isn't much, but i plan on making this website a "love dump." stupid paragraphs, playlists, things that remind me of you.
happy valentine's baby! i am going to forever cling onto you once i see you again.
♡